The Year of Moving On

We’ve made it through the dark of the winter, and now we must face whatever 2020 decides to throw at us. As a general rule, I don’t really care for annual celebrations. My birthday is something other people ascribe much more importance to than I do myself, not particularly enjoying being the centre of attention nor revelling in the giving and receiving of gifts.

Ah, my birthday. Normally I’d put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn’t think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn’t the little planet that could all over again.

“The Socratic Method” — House (1x06)

This Christmas I wrote about twenty cards, almost all of which had some sort of personal message inside. I used this as an opportunity to say things which would otherwise not have been said, or to simply say that I noticed and cherished their being in my life. I didn’t write them for my family, but did for people who might not have expected them from me. I signed off each and every one with “With Love”, and meant it for every single one.

I don’t do new years’ resolutions either. I hate that sort of goal-setting. I hate that every year we are culturally shamed for not setting an arbitrary rule for myself which there’s also a widespread acceptance that nobody keeps to. Non-Christian people deciding to give things up for Lent also makes me feel uncomfortable. If you want to arbitrarily give something up, then why not just do it at any other time? Maybe it’s the need for solidarity — it’s easier to suffer if other people are suffering too. That is the point of Lent after all, to experience in some small way the forty days and nights of fasting in the desert.

A podcast I’ve listened to for ages now respins this into Yearly Themes, in which you come up with a title, such as “The Year of Reorder”, “The Year of Stability”, or the perennial favourite “The Year of Less”. They emphasise that you can have multiple yearly themes, and they might not last for a whole year, and you can start them midway through the year. This still doesn’t entirely gel with me, but I can see the appeal for the sort of person for whom having that sort of plan is a good thing.

I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there’s a chance
You won’t be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying somethin’ stupid
Like: “I love you”

“Somethin’ Stupid” by C. Carson Parks

If I had to ascribe a theme to this year coming, it would be “The Year of Moving On”. This is a mission statement — that whatever comes my way, I’ll handle it as appropriate and not get stuck on it, and that I’ll give any opportunity which comes my way a fair and objective hearing. I suspect it won’t make any difference to how things pan out, because if there is one thing constant is how stubborn I can be about things not changing unnecessarily. There’s a need to just get on with things, a need to not obsess over the small stuff, and a need to not become too attached to the status quo. I laid the groundwork for this last year, finally working to air some of the niggling things which have plagued me for years.

There will be setbacks, but as far as possible I just want to go with the flow, and not actively spoil anything. I’ve actually kind of achieved it thus far, and we’re now 1/24th of the way through the year. Just 23/24ths left to go.