Feeling Weird

Today is the day we’ve all been waiting for: the cold snap election (I’m so funny). Now we’ve got to the point where people are actually voting and I can’t get over the feeling that something is still fundamentally wrong with the universe. For what seems like a lifetime now, we’ve suffered through the campaigns, the interviews, the ridiculous debates, the shock reveals, and the lies and exaggerations from all directions.

Sir Humphrey: Bernard, if the right people don’t have power, do you know what happens? The wrong people get it: politicians, councillors, ordinary voters!
Bernard: But aren’t they supposed to, in a democracy?
Sir Humphrey: This is a British democracy, Bernard!

“Power to the People” — Yes, Prime Minister by Sir Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn

The British democracy is barely holding together. We have already seen how even the word ‘democracy’ means very different things to different people, even within political groupings. Variations of the phrase “illiberal undemocrats” are now burned into my psyche, having seen it so many times in the last few months. I have also seen many posts in the social, online and traditional print media saying something along the lines of “whatever you do, don’t vote Tory”. I have, in fact, stated exactly that. I have also seen full scale rants from the left and the right about how all of the other options are inherently not just worse but if you vote for them you’re literally not worth engaging with anymore. This is generally accepted as a concept of the politics in the 21st century, but I strongly believe it shouldn’t be.

The basic concept of government is that of cooperation towards a common goal. We have elections to ensure that those doing the cooperating align approximately with the whims of the people. The problem lies when the elected do not acceptably represent the full diversity of opinion, as opposed to just their voters. We’ve seen this with the IndyRefs, we’ve seen it with Brexit, and we’ve seen it in the reaction of the Scottish people to the last half-century of being governed by parties from Westminster who are mostly seen as irrelevant and indifferent to Scottish issues.

Bernard: Sir Humphrey, he’s very worried that he seems responsible for something that he can’t change.
Sir Humphrey: Yes, I’m sure. Responsibility without power: the prerogative of the eunuch throughout the ages.

“The National Education Service” — Yes, Prime Minister by Sir Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn

The British democracy is the definition of the prerogative of the eunuch. I’ve waxed lyrical in the past about the need for constitutional reform. I’ve recently come around to House of Lords reform, if only as a means of achieving proportional representation at at least one level of the legislature. Ideally, we’d keep a variant on the current system¹, but at this point I think a reform of our commons electoral procedure is incredibly unlikely. The public has more influence on the political landscape than ever before, and yet we have almost no ability to effect actual change.

In recent years, the referendum has found favour as the democratic tool of choice for settling contentious issues. If implemented correctly, it can be. We do not implement it correctly.

In the summer, the idea of a government of national unity was floated. Personally, I thought this was a really good idea, because it would have required cooperation. It would be extremely interesting to see Labour and the Conservatives forced to form a coalition with one another, to see whether they could get anything don, how those things would fit into the general political spectrum and whether it would finally cure the phobia of working together that is so pervasive through our politics.

Humans are fundamentally tribal creatures, and our political tribes are expected to define us. We get protective when our tribes are criticised, and are prone to fight back. We build emotional walls which prevent us from seeing the other humans as people because it makes it more conscionable to attack them. Real power will be in the hands of the people when we have a system which forces us to merge our ideological tribes for the common good. The easiest way of doing this will be for people to listen to one another, stating why what they’re advocating for is good without a no-holds-barred attack on the others. Attack the policy, not the politician. Believe in a person’s capacity for change. Ask why, and be reasonable when asked.

“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see…"
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No,” said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, “nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did,” said Ford. “It is."
"So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course."
"But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?"
"Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"
"What?"
"I said,” said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, “have you got any gin?"
"I’ll look. Tell me about the lizards.”
Ford shrugged again.
”Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them,” he said. “They’re completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone’s got to say it."
"But that’s terrible,” said Arthur.
”Listen, bud,” said Ford, “if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say ‘That’s terrible’ I wouldn’t be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”

‘So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish’ — Douglas Adams

In 2017, the Conservatives achieved 42.34% of the national vote. There has to be a reason that this happened, a reason why it appeals. I won’t say “Don’t vote Conservative”, but maybe consider the evidence that their leader yesterday reportedly hid in a fridge to avoid questioning. Even if it didn’t happen, the fact that it is believable should ring alarm bells.

Go and put a cross in a box if you are able to but have not already done so. I suggest you consider the lefter end of the spectrum, and do what you think is right. Vote tactically, or don’t.

One day I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.

‘Flashpoint’ (‘The Dalek Invasion of Earth’) — Dr Who, December 1964