Corona

Finding time to sit down and write at the moment shouldn’t be as difficult as it is. “What are you doing with all of your extra isolation time?” people ask, and the honest answer is I don’t have any extra time because I’ve successfully busied myself out of it. This is with having only three times left my flat in the last eight days, and with being able to count on one hand the number of real people I’ve had a face to face conversation with in that time.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute, why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?

‘Somewhere Only We Know’ by Keane

It’s a fascinating phenomenon, a solar corona. Because it can only be seen by blocking out the main light from a star, the average person can only see it during a total solar eclipse. If you want to have fully working eyes afterwards, you need special glasses to look at it. Something which we usually would not know is there is highlighted by a piece of universal force majeur.

So it has been with the eponymous virus which has us all inside, forced by law to “stay at home”. With the usual overwhelming fire of life blocked out, we can see the branches and loops of the things which we ought to hold dear but are forced to neglect. Working from home has made me see how much I valued being around people again in the office. Doing the normal end-of-year things for my university societies (read: families) remotely has been a heartbreaking experience, because it has showed how much I miss the regular structured interactions, and knowing that at least once a week I’ll probably have a hug from someone. Having to go food shopping over the weekend I described as one of the most depressing experiences of my life, one that I’m not keen to repeat and yet will have to if I wish to eat.

We’re still finding the new rhythm of life. It’s a rhythm which includes everyone being told to stand two metres apart from one another, and there are lines on the floor to give you a reference. It’s a rhythm where it’s suddenly totally normal for people to be suggesting that you should be “self-isolating” or “quarantined”, or that there should be army on the streets to enforce a “lockdown”. It’s a rhythm which is a slower, more considered, more anxious take on life just one month ago.

I’m starting to feel the effects of isolation. A virtual conversation can’t replace a physical one, no matter how good the technology gets. When asked how I am, the answer now is always “getting there”. Where “there” is is yet to be discovered, and when we get there is out of our control, but we can rest assured that we will get there eventually.

Stay safe, reach out, don’t panic.